I LOVE goals – the problem is I always have too many goals on the go and then only get some done 

I don’t do New Year’s resolutions as I have come to realise what a pile of bollocks they are – I’m all excited in January, write my list of resolutions, do them for about 1 week and then when the holidays are over and reality sets back in, I stop doing them and then I feel crap.

Does that resonate?

I generally do a set of yearly goals and then split them into quarterly goals – summer, autumn, winter and spring and include my personal (health, lifestyle and relationships) and business goals together and then break them down into smaller monthly steps. 

So because I am a month behind where I would be in regards to goal setting and planning my year, I have been doing them this week. I recently listened to Mel Robbins podcast on goal setting and it was brilliant.. I have learnt about goal setting in my naturopathy degree and in my life coaching courses so of course I thought I knew it all but no I learnt heaps of new information on this podcast which I thought I would share with you.

The first thing to clear up is the fact that a goal is made up of the desire (you have to really want to do it and know why) and then you actually have to do something. A goal with the desire but no action is just a dream. A goal with action but no idea will flop.

To start with, just write 1 – 3 (no more than 3) very vague goals.

I chose a health goal, a business goal and a lifestyle goal – I want to exercise more (so I feel strong and healthy), I want to make time for my hobbies (because quite frankly I feel I have become a very boring, dull person) and I want to make enough money doing what I love (so my husband can finally retire from being a policeman and I feel like I am actually achieving).

If you can’t think of any goals, it might be because you have forgotten to dream, So start dreaming! The other thing Mel Robbins suggested (which was morbid but effective) was to imagine yourself on your deathbed – what would you have wanted to achieve? (1)

This was a motivating moment for me, particularly when I probably have less years on the planet now than I have already lived).

 

Here are Mel Robbins Tips in a Nutshell: 

• You must know WHY you want to achieve these goals – Why is it important to you? Why do you want to change? Why now?
• You must have the WILL– How can you achieve them? What skills do you need? What could be the steps? What’s the first step?
• Tell someone you admire what your goals are – don’t share with those that won’t get them – only share with someone who you know will be excited for you and be your champion or have been there themselves.
• Don’t wait to start the goal tomorrow- start NOW – right this minute. Those that start their goals now achieve them. If you wait until XXXX, forget it!
• It is also important that you have little milestones or checklists on the way to show progress – little steps = little wins. This is something I have not been great at in the past but realise how important it is.

 

Be Careful of these Mistakes:

• Don’t focus so much on the how that you forget to tap into the why.
• Don’t set too many goals (yes that’s me – lesson learned). No more than 3 at a time. 1 is perfectly fine!
• Your goals have to stretch you but not be too difficult that you don’t achieve them or too easy that they are boring. You have to find that sweet spot – tap into your inner goldilocks. 
• Be specific – SMART goals are what you need – specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time related. That is – how will you know that you achieved the goal – what do you want the outcome to be and how can this be measured. What will success look and feel like to you?

Here are the things I did not know: 

• Research shows that having a high-low range is more achievable than having just one measure.  For example, I will walk between 3-5K steps every day instead of I will walk 4K steps everyday or I will drink 1-2L water everyday rather than I will drink exactly 1.5L water everyday. See the difference?
• Use the 3rd person: I have always been taught to write goals for myself and my clients in the first person but Cornell University has recommended from studies they have undertaken that stating goals in the 3rd person is actually more motivating.

Instead of coming up with LOTS of goals I have just chosen 3 and I am going to work on those 3 goals for January, February and March. Then I will choose another 3 goals in April (which maybe extensions of those goals or maybe new ones).

Here is one of my goals as an example:

Sarah will move her body in some way everyday – she will walk 7- 10K steps every day and either do a yoga routine, Pilates session or gym workout 3-5/week.

I have been working on this goal for about 2 weeks and I can tell you that I have easily walked more than 8K steps a day and have done yoga everyday, been to the gym 3x week and completed 1 online Pilates class every week…and it has been easy because of the range.

Goals are hugely important for giving us meaning and purpose. The research shows that having and pursuing goals makes us happier and is an important part of wellbeing (another reason why those small wins are SOOO important). It is actually the journey of attaining a goal that is good for us.

So focus on the journey and the small steps and wins on the way. You cannot fail if you are taking small steps…

 

Watch Mel’s Video here:https://youtu.be/sDmzLZnghcg?list=PLhW2xUEb-B-Y92Q1wVWw6TyMNr4idD-y   or listen to her on Spotify

Her workbook is also here: https://www.melrobbins.com/goals

Let me know what your new goals are and shout out if you need any help coming up and sticking your health goals. 

 

References (for those of you who are nerds like me)

1. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/epub/10.1177/1088868312440046
2. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5854216/
3. https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fapl0000441
4. https://www.jstor.org/stable/10.1086/670766
5. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/04/050417162526.htm
6. https://home.uchicago.edu/ourminsky/Goal-Gradient_Illusionary_Goal_Progress.pdf

 

Email me at admin@sarah-brenchley.com or book a free discovery call to discuss how I can help you. I offer a 1:1 sessions and various programmes on gut health, empowered eating (non-diet approach to food and weight) and menopause. Go to https://sarah-brenchley.com/links for information and free resources and join the best Facebook Group ever  – Women’s WellBeing Circle. 

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